Here Is One of the Most Powerful and Life-Changing Lessons My Personal Life Coach Ever Taught Me
Do ever encounter clients who have wonderful visions of what they’d love their life to look like, but they struggle to create real and lasting results? Maybe they’re held back by thoughts of fear, doubt or limiting beliefs about what they think they can realistically achieve.
This type of common sense thinking, or what I call “common hour” thinking, is rampant in our culture. As a result, many highly capable individuals end up abandoning their dreams because they can’t see past perceived obstacles in their way.
As a transformational life coach, the most powerful thing you can give your clients is the tool of what I call “brave thinking” – a way to think past any challenges they currently see before them, and embrace possibilities and opportunities they don’t even know exist.
Many years ago, I had a conversation with my personal life coach that transformed my entire life instantly and permanently
I began working with master coach Jack Boland in 1987. Over the years he had an immense impact on my life.
Jack helped me establish a whole new way of thinking about things that actually unlocked my ability to bring greater results into my life.
We worked together for five years. Near the end of that time, when Jack fell very ill with cancer, he came to visit me in Oregon for the last time.
I was very sad because I knew I’d miss him dearly. His wisdom had already changed my entire life. But during the breakfast we shared on his final visit, he was still very intent on hearing about what I was currently pursuing in life, so I told him.
At the time, I had a plan in the works to build a large campus of several buildings for my spiritual ministry.
I calculated it would take roughly ten years to complete and would cost about 10 million dollars. I had $40,000 in a building fund, and where the other hundreds of thousands would come from, I didn’t know.
So my plan was to raise the money for the land, pay off the land over several years, and then buy the first building. Then I’d borrow on the equity of that building and build the second building, and so on.
A bulletproof plan…or so I thought
I painted a vivid picture of my dream for Jack, and when I paused, he looked at me and said something I’ll never forget…
“Mary, why would you try to squeeze the infinite into a 10-year plan?”
I told Jack that the board I was working with considered 10 years a very reasonable timeline for completing a project of this size. Realistically, 10 years is just how long it would take! It was an all-around common sense plan for achieving the results I wanted.
And then Jack said,
“But wouldn’t you love to have the first building this year? Why wait ten years?”
I said, “Of course I would!” But I went on to tell him all the circumstances and conditions that made it impossible.
- We currently have just $40,000 in the building fund.
- The project is a 10-million dollar dream.
- It’s simple logic, really!
“I’m telling you Mary, you don’t have to squeeze the infinite into a 10-year plan. There could be lots of other ways this plan of yours could occur… wouldn’t you love to have the first building this year?”
When I said yes, Jack asked,
“Do you believe you’re going to have the building up this year?”
So I told him the truth: “No, I don’t believe I can have the building this year… but I can tell that you believe I could have it up this year.”
Jack just looked at me and looked deep into me soul and replied,
“Then believe in my belief.”
This was one of the most powerful coaching moments of my life
You see, clients want a coach who knows that there’s more opportunity for them than can be met through common hour thinking. They’re counting on you to believe in them and what’s possible for them, even when they may not believe in these things themselves.
Jack Boland was precisely that kind of coach for me, and I can attest to the results he helped me manifest in my life.
I left that breakfast table believing in his belief in me and my dreams, and in that moment I was a changed woman.
I had no idea how I was going to build that first building in one year or less, but Jack helped me to move into a wavelength of possibility.
I started asking myself,
“I am a child of God… who am I to say this couldn’t happen this year?”
And here’s the most amazing part – we didn’t move into that building ten years later. We moved into it ten. months. later. 10!
A great life coach leaves a legacy
My coach and mentor Jack Boland died six weeks after our conversation over breakfast, but his encouragement to open myself up to infinite possibilities was his legacy to me.
Understanding and truly believing that there is a power in all of us that’s far greater than any circumstance, situation or condition is the basis of being a great coach to your clients.
If you can give your clients the gift of committing to their vision regardless of conditions, regardless of how impossible it may seem to achieve, then you are giving them the ability to create the life of their dreams.
How to help clients open up to infinite possibilities
Easier said, than done, right?
When you’re working with a client who has a clear vision of what they want, say meeting a loving partner for example – but they don’t know how on earth it’s going to happen – you can help them tune to the wavelength of possibilities.
Ask them to visualize and “try on” the dream they desire. Ask them to tell you about it from the future, from the perspective of the person who has already attained what they would love.
“Describe it to me. Tell me all about your loving partner. What does life look like with this person?”
An evocative question like this helps them stand in and feel their dream realized.
You don’t even actually have to help them come up with how they’ll make their dream come true – your job is to open them up to the possibility of the infinite ways they may not even realize yet. Doing so is giving your clients the gift of brave thinking, which is how extraordinary results are created with unprecedented ease speed and ease.