“I want this job.”
“I want that much income.”
“I want this kind of relationship.”
When you first begin working with a life coaching client, they may have all sorts of thoughts about what it is that they want to create for themselves and their lives…
But as a life coach, one thing you must be aware of is that some of your clients’ ideas about what they want may NOT be what they actually TRULY long for, in their heart of hearts.
What do I mean by that?
In many cases, what your client says they want isn’t actually their REAL wish, but a means by which they think their TRUE desire can be obtained.
For example, your life coaching client may say they want to find their soulmate, or create a certain kind of relationship… when what they TRULY want is the love, safety and acceptance they don’t know how to give themselves.
This person probably isn’t aware of the difference – they likely believe that if they can just find that ideal partner, then all of the pain, fear, loneliness and insecurity they feel will simply melt away.
Unfortunately, this is usually not the case!
Your client may succeed in attracting the significant other they’ve been hoping for, but the underlying issues that cause them to feel dissatisfied with themselves and their lives will likely just follow them into that relationship…
Leaving them in just as much pain as they were in before, and possibly even causing them to sabotage their newfound love.
How does knowing this influence the way you work as a coach?
Knowing that what your clients THINK they want may not actually be what it is they truly want affects your life coaching business in two very important ways:
- How to coach your existing clients more powerfully
It’s vital that you learn how to hear the TRUE desires your coaching clients really have beneath the surface.
When you help your clients achieve something they think will make their lives better, only for them to acquire it and discover that they’re still as unhappy as they were before, this doesn’t help anyone!
In fact, can actually lead your clients to think that your coaching doesn’t help, and it can make them feel that real happiness is completely out of reach.
Instead, find out what your client really desires, and use that as the basis to help them form plans and goals that will bring them what they truly long for.
- How to attract NEW coaching clients more effectively
One of the core principles of marketing is that people say “YES!” to products or services for emotional reasons.
Logic merely justifies what their heart has already decided.
When in conversation with new potential clients, if you have a sense that there’s something more that they long for beneath their “surface” desires, dig a little deeper.
For example, if you have a client telling you that they want to meet their soulmate, but you can see, hear and feel, in what they’re saying, that they are extremely lonely and unhappy with their own life, you could say to them:
“I understand you’re saying you want to meet your soulmate, but beneath that, what I’m ALSO hearing is that you’d love to experience a new level of self-love and acceptance… and that you’d love to create a greater sense of fun and enjoyment in your own life, whether you’re with someone or not. Does this resonate with you?”
In this way, you’re speaking to the potential client’s deeper desire, and you’re also stirring emotion within them that will help them say “YES” to creating what it is that they REALLY want by means of working with you.
And now, here’s a question for you…
What insights opened up for you around love and relationships as a result of reading this blog post?
Share your thoughts with me in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!